Hi_Tech modelling? !! ---- Rule of Thumb
     
Faced with a multitude of text books, exotic explanations, critique in columnist' renderings (either by the author or someone writing to him/her), and not to say last or least the local club expert ......... is it any wonder that any newcomer or 'fly for fun' hobbyist is bamboozled into thinking that the explanation for the strange happenings on his model bear no relationship to common or garden English or simple explanation when he/she tries to understand the advice sought on what to do if ...........?
     
To bring us down to earth (with a bump! ...... no soft landings here! ), I have attempted to give a cross between a Dictionary, Thesaurus and encyclopaedic rendering of some of the more common enquiries into the meanings of those high sounding words and phrases used by those 'in the know' . To ease the mind from earth shattering problems of finding what you want to know I present the alphabetical listing of every Wally's compendium to flying.
     
Centre of Gravity <senter of gravity> A phrase defining a point in the model about which the model should physically balance in an attitude that nobody can really agree upon. Some say nose down, others say level.
     
    This is the most single cause that will seriously affect the health and well-being of both model and pilot if this point is in the wrong place when the model is flown
     
    CURE: No known cure other than build to plan or learn a lot of formulae and maths and geometric methods of calculating the right place. Experimentation by empirical measurement can be successful if the model survives its first flight.
     
Crash <Keraash> The resultant collection of debris from the effects of pilot inability how- so- ever arising
     
    CURE: More training and practice
     
Disorientation <dis-orient-asian> A malady of the far east and the African continent affecting the eyes such that it is impossible to tell the far east from the mid west. Long term affects vary between "flyaway" and "crashes". Other short term failures in bodily functions are also common in pilots such as involuntary shouting of incomprehensible phrases such as "elp-i've-lorstit"
     
    CURE: If co-pilot is immediately to hand deposit transmitter in his hands shouting "its yours". If no immediate assistance is available adopt an attitude of prayer, this way with the hands off the transmitter the model may have just the good sense to stabilise in a recognisable attitude allowing a subsequent action from a reasoned mental state of composure.
     
Flick-roll <Flik-role> An inadvertent inverting of a model from the effects of too much pudding given to the sticks of the transmitter in an uncoordinated way. Sometimes deliberately induced by "show-offs" setting themselves up as role models for the less experienced.
     
    CURE: Less ooomph at the back of the model by reducing movement of control surfaces. Sometimes assisted by moving the centre of gravity further forward.
     
Flyaway <fli-er-way> The name of that long walk leading to hide-and-seek which from time-to-time a model will impishly cause an owner, and possibly the pilot if not the owner, and perhaps like the pied piper a whole string of folk to endeavour.
     
    CURE: Ensure batteries are fed and watered regularly and do not allow models to stray too far afield especially downwind.
     
Ground loop <growndlupe> The apparently singular minded intent of the model to run around in circles on the ground without any intention of becoming airborne or going where you want it to. This affliction is contagious causing friends and members of the watching public alike to scatter away from from you at speed.
     
    CURE: Make hospital appointment for exploratory examination for athletes stiffness in wheels. If OK check that the three wheatabix diet is reduced for takeoff. If condition still persists move hernia support to a more forward and comfortable position.
     
Stall <storl> The condition experienced by an aeroplane when it finds its wings will not support its weight. Often seen close to the ground, usually followed by a condition experienced by the pilot known as "ocod". A French word meaning "self reproach".
     
    CURE: Increase model speed by whatever means available. If occurring following takeoff don't be so bl***y quick to get it in the air at an angle resembling the side of an Egyptian pyramid.
     
Tip-stall <tipstorl> A version of the stall which affects the outer portion of one wing only (usually) causing the model to tip over sideways. Again it can occur close to the ground with the same or similar pilot condition resulting as from a stall, but usually accompanied by a dazed, glassy look of bewilderment and momentary paralysis preventing all movement of the finger controlling the rudder.
     
    CURE: Training in reflexology to find the painless way of operating rudder rather than ailerons.
     

 

Want to add some of your own definitions? just e-mail me with your fun ideas ...... but please ensure they have an element of usefulness even if it is rather disguised or obtuse. No promises of inclusion.