Key Beliefs Part 3

Character List

Mr Daves

Miss Batingoldwitch

Mrs Gatling Gun

Mr Half a loaf of French bread

Master Flammable

El Batmanio

Act 1 Scene 1

The family sits down to a typical Sunday Lunch:

Mr Daves = Nice Weather we're having today

Miss Batingoldwitch  = yes nice and dull

Mrs Gatling Gun = I hate you all and I hope you die

Mr Half a loaf of French bread = we love you too

Master flammable = No one understands me! *runs out screaming*

Mr Daves = There, that wasn't so bad

Miss Batingoldwitch  = what wasn't so bad?

Mr Daves = I.... don't... know....

Mrs Gatling Gun = You incompetent buffoon!

Mr Half a loaf of French bread = If no one cares, I'm taking the car keys

Mrs Gatling Gun = Take it and crash

Mr Half a loaf of French bread = Okay, I will

Miss Batingoldwitch  = Just don't leave fast food wrappers in the back

Mr Half a loaf of French bread = Okay, I will

Miss Batingoldwitch  = Just god damn well listen to me!

Mr Half a loaf of French bread = Okay, I will

Miss Batingoldwitch  = ARGH!

Mrs Gatling Gun = That doesn't sound healthy

Mr Daves = Do you all mind! I'm trying to eat

Mrs Gatling Gun = Go stuff yourself you ignorant swine!

Mr Daves = ....oh that's it! *pulls out a knife*

Mrs Gatling Gun = You call that a kinfe? This is a knife! *pulls out Longsword*

Mr Daves = *pulls out shotgun*

Mrs Gatling Gun = *pulls out M16*

Mr Daves = *Pulls out bazooka*

Mrs Gatling Gun = *Drives tank forward*

Mr Daves = *Bring out nuclear wep* There top that!

Mrs Gatling Gun = *Opens fire with tank*

Mr Daves = *Gets blown away*

Miss Batingoldwitch  = Lovely dinner we're having

Mr Half a loaf of French bread = yeah....I'm leaving now. *leaves*

Master flammable = I've come back for my dinner, what is it?

Miss Batingoldwitch  = Pot Noodle on toast

Master flammable = Argh! This is poetic injustice!

Mrs Gatling Gun = Shut up *opens fire with tank*

Master flammable = *Gets blown apart*

Miss Batingoldwitch  = It's all gone quiet for a sudden

*El Batmanio enters room*

El Batmanio = Aiutilo! ci è un capretto osservante divertente fuori della mia casa!

Batingoldwitch  = What did he just say?

Mrs Gatling Gun = My mother was a saint! *opens fire on everything*

*Everything gets blown apart*

Mr Half a loaf of French bread = The car won't start....oh...I knew I shouldn't have bought her a tank for Christmas.