Dave Vermond

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I wouldn’t say that this intro went down fantastically or anything, but Dave proposed to me live on stage. When I turned him down he vowed to be my slave for ever. “Dave fetch me a coffee will you!”

 

It’s a crying shame

This feller isn’t the biggest thing ever

Everywhere should be aware

Of what we have here

I’m talking globally

Internationally

If they saw him they’d know him

Heard him they’d love him

Hold him dear

He’s a bloody genius

Humorous, moving

Hilarious, gregarious

Creatively free

A visionary

A pleasure to know

A joy to see

Here, right now, in our hearts

Be enthusiastically fond

Welcome the wonderful

Dave Vermond

 

 

And from 2003 festival:-

 

I am Dave’s biggest fan

Kind of, sort of, a bit

Obsessive really

I’m his stalker actually

I want an apprenticeship with him

At the Figaro Club

I know all his songs, even the really old ones

I irritate him a little bit –

By requesting

Don’t Do It On The Duvet

I’ve been following him for a very long time

I have a chequered scarf

      and tartan trousers

(I’m getting the ears done tomorrow)

I smoke Navy Cut – Eat oysters

(And go out with Pearl)

Everything is sweet and orderly

Well we are nice aren’t we

I’m so nice I married me

I fondly recall – kicking people in the head

(As a hobby)

I venerate….

(This list could go on all night)

Cigarette cards

Frotting

Old blues singers

3,153 guitarists (all dead)

I lead lambs to the slaughter,

Love it when it rains

And never want to wake up

I’m never ever sentimental

But I used to be

Shall I tell you about it

No

Of Dave I am obsessive, quite fond

Be as bad as me any minute

And feverously welcome

(Do Don’t Do It On The Duvet)

Dave Vermond

 

 

And I built him a band:

 

Dave’s Next Big Band

 

Two drum kits – (Like the Glitter Band)

Tanglefoot and the Wilsons on the chorus

Jimmy Hendrix on lead

(Well this is a fantasy band)

Me on bass

Dave of course on vocals

We had better have someone from

Simple Minds in there

For the Rock Stadium effect

Maybe one of Big Country

Add in Ashton, Gardener and Dyke

Rod on sound engineering

Oh I left a note;

(Change name to appropriate sound engineer

So it gets a bigger cheer!)

What will the single be?

Plains of Molonue

Big hit – Big hit

Bit dangerous

Let the whole stadium join us

Football (and Top of the Pops)

            will never be the same

‘Fans’ – ‘Hooligans’ – ‘Commentators’ – ‘Popsters’

Welcome

The next big thing

The chap with his boot on the piano

Dave Vermond