Eating Disorders
My sister suffers from anorexia, although she has been stable for quite some time. It started when she was 13yrs old, it was so severe they thought she was going to die, she has been hospitalised many times over the years, now she is 33 yrs old, she has kidney damage, weakened immune system, her organs have shrunk and she has been told it is unlikely she would be able to carry a baby full term due to the damage she has done to her body, she has already had 2 miscarriages. She has over the years had a lot of trouble with her glands, which has been put down to anorexia as well.
I have vivid memories of before she went in hospital and when she came out, she used to skip meals constantly and when she did eat, it was so little, she was obsessed with the content of food, calories, fat content etc. She used to go in the bathroom and vomit if she had been forced to eat a meal. Although she didn't eat she loved cooking for the family. She was very much a control freak in alot of aspects of her life. I shared a bedroom with her and she was constantly exercising, she was either very tired or hyperactive, her hair used to fall out.
One thing, which I remember, was the constant rows at home, arguments because she wouldn't eat or because she was vomiting after eating. The tension was unreal.
On your helpful responses section I do agree in theory but if you try to encourage her to obtain treatment it was a waste of time because she didn't think there was anything wrong with her, if you tried to get her information or stats etc there was an almighty row, it was a control thing, she liked to be in control. If you expressed any interest in her treatment or if you shared any emotion she got hysterical because she thought it was her business.
Its hard to support someone who doesn't appear to want supporting, I know it says not to monitor their food intake or whether they are vomiting or how much exercise they are doing but when you actually live with it and you see this very very skinny ill person who you love it is hard to just sit back and let them get on with it. My mother used to make me watch what she ate, exercised etc and this put a strain on the relationship I had with my sister. When she was hospitalised for the first time she was in for months and months and I was only about 10 yrs old and I had to live at my grandma's which I guess I resented her for.
People say its unhelpful to make positive comments but in reality you cannot win, they hate it if you say they look good because they think they look fat but if you don't say anything they think its because you think they look fat. I guess attitudes and treatments may of changed now but 20 years ago there was not alot of help about, my sister was on a ordinary children's ward and there was no support or counseling for the family and this illness amongst other things was ripping our family apart. Since she has been in America she has received a lot better treatment, I guess some of this was because she was ready to accept it but they have more specialised units and therapists over there.
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