Here are some of my thoughts, feelings and philosophies on various subjects. From Censorship to Magik...

I may be opinionated, but that's because in the real world I'm not allowed to have an opinion. Everything I say and do is wrong. Someone says a joke and it's hailed as hysterical, I tell a joke of the same genre and people shake their heads as if to say "How childish". Someone starts a conversation about something and they're intelligent, I add something quite releveant to the discussion and I'm stupid and get told I should stick to watching soap operas (even though when I add my thoughts to on-line topics anonymously I'm THEN told I'm quite clever...go figure). So, I'm using this space to talk about things that normally get squashed down in the real world. I'm not claiming to be brilliant, but I do think that it's unfair not to be listened to just because my face doesn't fit.

If you have anything you'd like to add to any of the following topics and rants, or you have a subject that you'd like me to tackle and rant about, go to the contact page and email me with the email title "Lair - topic name". This will make it easy for me to identify your email amongst the dross I get sent about porn, mortgages and buying prescription drugs on-line. Your views will be added to the relevant topic for all to see. If you don't want your views to be added, please say so.

So, either read through the rants one by one, or click on the title of a topic to just that.

"Shut up about crappy Star Wars, I'm trying to find out who's going to die this week in my soap opera!"

In 1977, a flim was released that would become so influential that it would become a cult with a massive following. Star Wars. A fairy tale about a 17 year old farm boy with dreams of piloting fighter ships in space, who would meet with powerful allies and foes alike, and save the galaxy from a terrible weapon and it's evil makers. A film that would inspire books, computer games, roleplay games, and libraries of books and comics.

Sadly, there are some who laugh at this and dismiss it as they would an annoying child. They call it drivvle, inane, stupid, pointless...then they go and watch a soap opera to see who is having sex with who, or who has died and from what this time.

I'm not writing off soap operas, I'm merely saying that it seems a bit odd that their fans can write off Sci-Fi as being unbelievable, yet have no problem with a program that has a higher death rate than a war zone, and more misery than than the dark ages! I lived in a village the same size as the area where a certain Austrailian soap is set. Now, in this soap in the space of 9 years the deaths were in double figures, yet in my old home village where I lived for 22 years only two people died, one from old age and the other from a heart attack. Yet in these soaps, there are murders, rapes, disease, and medical conditions that would normally have government agents investigating the abnormally high mortality and crime rate, and the fans of these soaps say that these are more realistic than Sci-Fi...oooookay.

Now the realm of Sci-Fi is meant to be make believe. It's meant to be outlandish, full of characters able to to what everyday people would call impossible. A soap is meant to reflect real life, yet it is more unrealistic that any Sci-Fi film ever made! You'd think that word would get out about the towns, villages, etc., that these soaps are set in and folks would avoid these death traps! "I'm buggered if I'm moving there! You know how many people have died and been raped there in the past 3 months alone?" Yet with the horrificly and unnaturally high rate of death and crime, these shows are seen as a better influence to our children than a film or a show that tells you to believe in yourself and always have an open heart.

If children are encouraged from a young age to believe in a little magic and to take things with a pinch of salt, surely the world would be a little happier. Yet they are being told that Sci-Fi and fantasy are stupid and idiotic, whilst being told at the same time that shows set in worlds where nobody drinks alcohol, smokes cigarettes, and uses swear words are realistic! If you are one of these people who believes in the world of soap then this is going to be a real shocker for you...people in real life HAVE SEX! It's true, I'm afraid. In one soap, there's a character who always seems to be watching the youngsters of his village, claiming that they're "Up to no good!" if he see's them holding hands and kissing. You know, normal everyday things that occur in the real world. This character see's sex wherever he looks, always telling the youth that he's got an eye on them to make sure they don't get up to anything. Firstly, what a pervert! He's so sick in the head, he thinks that a young couple holding hands is a sexual act! He is either a closet dominator with a secret dungeon, or he really ought to go out and get laid! Secondly, it teaches people that sex is wrong. Being repressed to the point of exploding is right? SEEK HELP! And if someone tries to tell you that sex IS wrong, then tell them that they must be evil too as they are a product of sex....unless the freak was hatched in some bizarre secret lab.

So, just because you see someone kiss, or a hero avoid death, in a Sci-Fi film or show doesn't mean it's crap, it just means people have to deal with enough sorrow in reality to have to put up with it in the world of entertainment. Sure, not everything needs to be sugar coated, but not everything has to be doom and gloom all the time. Those of you who hate Star Trek, The Matrix, Reign of Fire, Star Wars, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and find your realism in shows full of death, rape and murder and that it's good to tell people not to hold hands because that is sex and sex is evil...what a cold, black-and-white, horrific world you live in...

"Metler! Goth! Grebo! Hippy! Hurr hurr!"

I'm a Goth. Have been since I first heard The Sisters of Mercy in 1988, just that I never went and wore black lots until 3 or 4 years later, but I was goth on the inside. I liked the sound of it, the mood of the music, the emotion behind it. But I like other types of music. I was brought up on bands like Uriah Heap, Motorhead, Deep Purple, Rush, Free, Jethro Tull. First Iron Maiden song I head was Running Free at the age of about 8 and I though it was great! I still like Maiden, and not like these sad acts who snigger and say things like "Oh yes, I USED to listen to them...". Yeah, then you became a snob. I also like punk, one of the most contravertial music genres ever, if not THE most. Contravertial because at last bands were singing about the state of society and how crap it was. Those who couldn't face the reality that punk represented called it horrendous, but there were those who thought At last! The corpse of music has been given the Kiss of Life it bloody well needed!

But unfortunatly, people who have similar tastes in music to me are looked down on. How many of you have heard someone say about a run-of-the-mill pop star "Oh he's so nice. So clean." Er, what's that supposed to mean? That musicians with actual talent and ability like Lemmy, Zack Wilde, Steve Harris and Dave Mustane bathe in soil? And what's so good about looking like a pop star? Who wants to be a clone? And this leads me onto the main point...

When I started getting into alternative music, my mum got worried, fearing I was getting into bad habits. She asked me to try dressing "Nice" like all the other kids my age, instead of being true to myself. So I tried explaining to her that my friends were respectable people, nice folk who were freindly and fun, unlike the "trendies" whose idea of fun was to get drunk behind a supermarket on white cider, start fights outside nightclubs, verbally and/or physically abuse someone because they looked at them, and shout abuse out of the window of the vehicle they were travelling. Yes, these so called nice, "clean", respectable people dressed in the latset fashion weren't exactly the most polite, well brought up folk in the world. After a while, my mum saw where I was coming from, and changed her view to a certain point. She still thinks The Sex Pistols could've got their message across in a nicer way ( :o) ), but instead of thinking, whilst out and about in town doing family things, "Oh, God! Look at the state of him in his leather jacket, all dressed in black! What must people think?", she now thinks "That's my son! Dressed in a way seen by most as socially unacceptable, being more polite and helpful and these kids dressed in the latset gear and seen as acceptable could ever be. Look, there's my lad opening a door for that lady...makes me proud!"

It wasn't about scoring points with the older fans of alternative music, it wasn't about shocking my folks looking for attention. It was about me being me, dressing the way I want and lstening to music that wasn't the same recycled, manufactured crap that gets in the charts 24/7.

"But the music I like, like boy bands, gets number one hits!"

So did Mr Blobby and The Birdy Song...what's your point?

The only reason for hating alternative music I can see is jealousy. Trendies haven't got the guts to dress how they want, and they haven't got the brains to understand what the music is about! And it's this jealousy that leads to outward hostilty from trendies towards goths, punks, metlars, etc. One of the worst examples was the case of Brian Deneke, a young man who did so much for his communitee. He was involved in art. He set up gigs in his town, going so far as to set up a hotel-like place for visiting bands to stay. He was a great friend to those he knew, and very much loved son. Then one day, a gang of "clean", respectable trendies decided to attack the alternative group. The only reason the punks had chains and stuff was because someone dashed into the alternatives meeting place warning that a mob of preppies were on the way, armed to the teeth and looking to do damage to the alternatives. One was in a car and aimed for one guy, who jumped and thus rolled over the car and was lucky to live. But Brian was next...

As if that wasn't bad enough, some people actually tried to justify the murder of Brian, salving their demonic conscience by saying that Brian was a Satanist!

I've been walking down the street and had people shout abuse at me from a moving car. Always a moving car, they'd never dare say it to me if they were on their own or if I was with a group of friends. Fortunatly, I'm unable to speak the same language they do so I can't make out what they are shout most of the time. But I get the feeling that if I could speak the same tongue these lifeforms speak, I'd be a little insulted.

Just the other day, my Lady and I were walking to drop a dvd back at the rental store. She was carrying her little boy's Bob The Builder bag for him over her shoulder, when a couple of trendies walked past us, one of them saying "Bob The Builder? What's that all about?", Like she had no right to be carrying it! Trendies are telling us what we can and cannot wear and carry? These are the people who reintroduced flares as fashionable, for fucks' sake!

Someone made a comment about the pvc trousers I was wearing one day, saying the obvious...because I'm weaing them I must be gay. The reason it got to me was because the guy who said it was a friend. You think of some of the best comebacks well after the event! But here were some of my thoughts. 1 - so what if I was gay? Does that mean I'm less of a human for it? You can be friends for years, but if that person turns out to be gay, you HAVE to turn your back on them, showing that your friendship was nothing but a lie? 2 - I was gonna say this, but I thought it way to evil to say. But I was gonna say "So, even though I fancy girls, by wearing these pvc trousers I'm gay, but what you and your dad get up to at night isn't?" (Told you I can be vicious!). I got pissed off at his attitude and went off to chill out. Then, this silly little girl who was in the room with us all came up to me and said "It's your own fault. By wearing what you are, you're begging people to make a comment. I used to be a goth, but I didn't like all the comments I got, so I gave it up. If you don't like the comments you get, then you should change, too." Firstly, if you gave it up so easily, then you obviously weren't a goth, to you it was just a silly little teenage phase, a new fad for you to try out. Secondly, from what you said, then you must agree with these Cro-Mags who say that women who wear revealing outfits when they go out are "Asking for it!" which, to be frank, is just as dictating as being told not to wear pvc or leather. And finally, I'll wear what I want, and if people don't like, then I feel sorry for them for not being high enough up on the evolutionary scale to understand the meaning of diversity.

Why are trendies so full of hate and evil? I mean, an alternate can look at a trendy and think "He/she looks well cute! Wouldn't mind a date with them!" but a trendy will look at an alternate and think "They're wearing leather/pvc/safety pins/etc...ewww, gross!" If all that you fancy in people is their clothes, you really ought to seek some help. Sorry to be crude but you're making love to the person not the clothes!

I remember getting in a taxi on my way to Nottingham city centre, and I asked the taxi driver if I could order ataxi back home for later. I asked wear from so I told him the name of the famous alternative nightclub I was going to. His response? "Thank fuck for that! Getting fed up of picking people up from outside *********. Everytime I do, there's at least two fights going on outside! I've NEVER seen or had any trouble when I've picked up from **** ****." So from that conversation, you get the idea that you have loads of trouble at trendy nightclubs, but polite people at alternative nightclubs. Also, once when I got on a bus to go clubbing, two blokes got on and were chatting. One actually said and meant this seriously, "It's gonna be great, tonight. Get drunk, got to the ******* nightclub, start a fight..." These two were sporting grade one hair all over, and the latest in designer gear...in other words, they looked "Nice, clean, and respectable."

Sorry, but manners are in the person, not in the clothes they wear. If you think different, then keep the hell away from me, you Timmay!

I mean, these insults that we alternaive music fans get, whether from a moving car or from a group of people that out number you in the streets, are a bit rich coming from people who look like they couldn't be arsed to get dressed properly and threw on the nearest track suit, or are to afraid to say Fuck You to conformity and the totalitarianism of the fashion world and their peers and just got dressed like the rest of the clones! Yes, when I see someone dressed in sports clothes, no matter how expensive their trainers and baggy track suit bottoms are, they look like slobs who just simply couldn't be bothered to make an effort. Trendies may laugh like a bunch of timmays who have just gone to the zoo and seen a monkey for the first time when they see a punk or a goth or whatever, but at least we have taken the time and effort to get dressed, let alone decide what to wear! They may laugh, but we don't have the option of dropping into one of the numurous sports shops dotted all over the world, we have to go to exclusive shops like the ones in Camden, London and Hockley, Nottingham. Trendies may think they are awesome compared to metlers, but the average price of a PROPER leather jacket is around 120 pounds, and a pair of New Rock boots on average is 130 pounds, and both of these are little more classy than a pair of trainers no matter how much you pay for them. By the way, why do I get the feeling that half the people wearing sports gear as fashion wear have tried sports? It's fashionable to wear baseball caps (at time of typing)...yeah, I used to wear one, too...about 12 years ago!

I bet trendies would love to know...strike that. From the way trendies act, it dubious as to whether their IQ is above that of a rat, with some experts say some may just be almost as intelligent as yeast. But let's suppose they could think for themselves, would they be curious as to what WE think of them? The only reason we don't shout stuff back is because we had decent parents who told that only mental patients shout stuff at total strangers in the street. But some of the things that go through my mind when a potato head starts shouting unprovoked random weirdness at me and/or other people like me..."At least, unlike you, I don't look like the product of sexual union between mother and son", "Whichever twat taught you that it doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman but it's hair length that determines if you're female was winding you up...", "Remember what you were told about escaped loonies: don't look them in the eye or they'll get violent, try to hump your leg or some other weird shit that loonies do.", "Fuck me, chimps CAN talk!", "Fucking Care-In-The-Community!", "If I wanted to hear an arsehole, I'd fart...", "I hope one day you shout like you are doing now to someone who just happens to be a hitman.", "Why can't they make a virus that attacks and kill only those with single-figure IQs?"...you get the idea. But we keep our lips sealed, not wanting to lower ourselves and make out that we're as fucked in skull as these complet wastes of oxygen.

So what if we wear black? I find it highly disturbing that not only the things that shout the abuse, but also adults old enough to know better,not only not say anything but seem to find it acceptible for idiots to shout this crap at us! Like the woman in the film X-Men who pulls her kids away in horror when she notices that the nice young man stood next to them, Cyclops, just happens to be a mutant, parents look in horror when they see their little ones looking and smiling nicely and innocently at a goth or metler, wondering why there aren't many like them around. Don't these parents ever think that one day their little child will grow up and just may want to look amazing in black? Would these same parents hate their kids becuse they were socially unacceptable,too?It's because most have it ingrained into them that to be who you want and to be true to yourself is wrong and evil. To be accepted in society, you will be measured on how well you conform with the rest of society in terms of looking and acting trendy. If it's unacceptable to be otherwise, well I'm glad that being polite, well-mannered, freedom-loving, and all the other things that make me "Me".

These little Credits to Society who listen to music peformed by "Nice" pop musicians, shout crap at strangers, kick the windows of bus shelters and phone booths in, mug kids for their mobile phones and trainers, nick cars and go joy riding, shout lewd comments to ladies just because those ladies are dressed up to go out on a night out, go out to get drunk then start fights, smash shop front windows, steal babies push chairs...these types are acceptable? I think society doen't need to worry about alternates making society crumble, the trendies have beat us to it! Not that we want to make society crumble, just give it a little shake to even things out so everyone can dress how they wants with Captain Moron shouting abuse at us. And the things these "Clean, nice, respectable" people shout at goth ladies...

Real goth ladies, not these silly little upstarts with enormously baggy trousers rebelling against their middle class parents, but REAL goth ladies are amongst the most elegant looking and acting ladies ever. Dressed in lace and velvet, curtseying when politely addressed, these ladies are beautiful to behold. And what do trendies shout at them? "Whore!", "Tart!", "How much for shag?" Yes, very "Clean", so much more respectable than goth gentlemen who bow before these ladies and calling them as such.

So, next time some freak on day release shouts some unintelligable abuse at you followed by something like "Hippy!", just think to yourself "Better to be a hippy, than a retarded, dragged up, scumbag, rude, disgrace-to humanity little worthless turd like you!"

"You dirty sod. You dirty old man"

The Sex Pistols interview with Bill Grundy...now, for those of you who don't know, The Sex Pistols were interviewed by Bill Grundy on a television show in 1976. Here's the interview, for you to read.

Back in 1976, people were outraged at the use of such language and complained about The Pistols' behaviour. And in return, people defended The Pistols.

But one thing has been overlooked by all...except by the mighty Dirtcreature! The point is this: people said that it was outrageous and disgusting the way Johnny Rotten, Steve Jones, Glen Matlock, Paul Cook, and their friends who joined them on the show acted and spoke...but no-one had a problem with a man in middle age saying "We'll meet afterwards, shall we?" to a 16 year old siouxsie (later to form Siouxsie and the Banshees) in a sleazy come on? Interesting...you're allowed to come on to a young girl, but your not allowed to call the bloke sleazing a dirty old sod...interesting.

"You are too stupid and backward to watch programs and films. We will control what you see and hear..."

This bit is very important so please read.

Censorship...very creepy. A select group telling what we can and cannot hear on our radios and stereos, see on our cinema screens, and to a greater extent, on our televisions. Even worse are the consumers who agree with these types, saing that there shouldn't be any of "That stuff" on telly. What stuff? You mean realistic language? You mean that by sheltering your young from all that is real, horrible or otherwise, on the telly so that when they go out into the big wide wolrd on there own and end up having an instand nervous breakdown due to never having heard rude words before is a goodthing?

People swear. Life doesn't have a bleep machine. Lise isn't a pop music videos, full of happy smilimg faces. Life is full of emotions, people, and life. It's not full of sickly=sweet people grinning like they're on the verge of a coronary. To pretend otherwise is to lie to and ill-prepare people for the outside world.

Yet we pay for this. And we getnightmare inducing threats if we don't pay. but why do we pay? If you bought something and it was broken or had something missing, you'd take it back and aske for a refund or a working replacement. And you certainly wouldn't pay twice for the same item you got! So why do we have to pay for tv shows and films that have scenes removed, swearing edited/removed/dubbed badly, and are repeated? Scene removed = missing part of child's train set. Swearing poorly dubbed and/or bleeped out = opening a dvd player to find the remote is broken. Repeats and still having to buy a tv licence = buy a buying a burger, eating it, then being told you've got to pay for it again.

There have been cases of people committing crimes, then blaming tv and film, and no doubt to a lesser extent even computer and video games, in a sad attempt to get out of it. One that made me laugh was when I guy killed someone and said that Michael Myers, the unstoppable killer from the Halloween films, told him to do it. The real life murder didn't make me laugh, but the guy saying that Michael told him too, did....because Michael Myers never speaks in any of the Halloween films.

If someone watches a film, then goes out and does something completely idiotic, then surely that person should be punished for being completely unstable and unfit to be a part of society rather than the film? I've watched countless films, yet I don't go round claiming that I'm Indianna Jones or Neo or Han Solo or even bloody Tarzan. So why should we be punished for what a few freaks act like because of the unstableness of their screwed up minds? Because we are told that wqe are ALL stupid and easily influenced. But if that's the case, then surely we should be most afraid of the censors, the very people who are allowed to view these programs and films before they are aired to the general public?

"Double-plus Un-good..."

Political Correctness...*shudders* When George Orwell wrote his book "1984", it was meant as a horror story, not as a guide of how the world should be! The followers of PC tell you you're not allowed to say someone is blind....they're visually challenged. Someone isn't insane...mentally challenged. You're not allowed to say anything without one of these Thought Police jumping on every word you say, telling you how offensive they find you when you say words like "Spazmo", "Tard" , "Flid". Okay, these words are used to mildly insult friends. But it's very rare that there's any real hatred and malice behind them. Yet it doesn't end there. The PC Nazis get upset with you if say say things the way they are. Like, blind, deaf, mad, etc., and are very quick to give you the PC way of saying things.

But PC doesn't just stand for political Correctness, it also stands for Patronising C**t. One day in college, I heard a woman talking so condescendingly and patronizing to this blind guy like he was simple or something, he ended up blowing his stack and saying "I'm blind, not fucking retarted!" On talking with him later, he said that she had upset him by talking to him like he was a 4 year old child with mental problems, and that he has never once been insulted by the term "Blind" and actually refers to himself as being blind. Using all these terms is just a way for these control freaks to have even more control over others. Another guy at college was having an introduction to the site. Being in a wheel chair, you'd think it'd be a simple case of telling about where the lifts and ramps are so he can easily access the place...WRONG! The woman talking to his mum, never once talking TO or WITH him but about him as if he wasn't there, sounded like this..."At this college, we like to feel we are in tune with those who face more challenges than others. We help those who unable to perform functions due to their challenges..." Whilst completely ignoring the poor sod she was meant to be helping! When i neared the reception desk where they were stood and whilst i was waiting to drop some paperwork in, i said to him "Ain't nice been spoken about and not spoken to, just because you're in a wheel chair, eh?" He looked so happy that someone was actually talking to him. "He said in return, "You bloody bet, mate!" I told him welcome to the college and to come and chat with me and my class mates during lunch if he wanted to. As I walked off, the horrified lady was falling over herself, still ignoring the dude, desperately trying to reassure his mum that that "Not EVERYONE at this college refers to them as 'wheelchairs'"!!!!

As the author P. J. O'Rourke wrote "It's only a matter of time before we see our sons sent home fror writing the word 'Girl' on the washroom wall"

And the people who get most offended by non-PC comments are the PC nazis! Iused to have a girlfriend who was into thought control, telling me everytime I said words like "Blind" and "Deaf" that i was being cruel and inhuman! As you can imagine, being a believer in freedom her comments made me feel a little uneasy, to put it mildly. Eventually, she dumped me, and you'll love the reason why. Whilst a group of us were dancing in a nightclub to the song Insane In The Brain by Cypress Hill, I pulled the "Monkey Face" during the chorus (You do this by putting the tip of your tongue between your botton front teeth and your bottom lip, making it bulge outward). She said that by doing that I was taking the piss out of a friend who had died from an illness! Ys, she actually told me that by pulling a face, I was deliberately disrespecting a man who had died! PC IS SICK!!! Most of my friends said it sounded like an excuse to justify her wanting someone else. But two, who were experts in psychiatry told me that she NEEDS to see someone about her unfounded hatred toward me and her deep rooted problems before she goes completely over the edge. The majority were right, though. Seemed she was planning on dumping me for this other guy. The guy was in on it too. Told a group of friends what had happened, and all of them said how sick and cruel it was for her to say what she said...except for the guy (yes, he WAS a friend) who said "That means she's single, now, yeah?" At first, I thought he was just being insensitive due to being drunk, but looking back it all seems a bit too well orchastrated to me. But we're getting off track...

With threats hanging over our heads like global thermonuclear war, Ebola, retar...er, terrorism, these idiots are too weak to tackle anything of real importance, so they cowardly attack someone for saying words like "Spasmo":, instead of speaking out against something that's actually important like slave labour or lack of housing for people.

When the PC lot told us that we had to use THEIR words and phrases instead of the ones we use normally, I was a bit worried. I don't agree, condone or tolerate racism, but what the were say was going WAY too far. Then it hit me. Using this word instead of that word? It sounded just like the horror story "1984", set in a world that was shrinking the English language down to a few baisc words, with those in charge having the power to kill those who did not comply, and going further, by controlling thought through controlling our language

So you see, when I hear someone saying loudly that you shouldn't that you should say this, I think of that cold dark world under facsistic control. And when I hear words like that, I feel like jumping up and shouting "LONG LIVE FREE SPEECH! DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER!"

I had a friend who used to be a care worker. She said I wasn't supposed to call people "mad", I had call them "metally challenged". And she didn't have "patients", she had clients"...word to the wise. "Client" is slang used by prositutes, meaning "John", "customer", etc.

If what you hear is offending people, let those being offended shout out about it. When someone who isn't blind or deaf or whatever starts dictating, you make those less able than you feel like they are unable to do stuff for themselves. You want these people to have self-respect but you strip away this self-respect when you keep jumping up and shouting your ill-informed, ill-advised mouths off, not giving a chance for those who ARE handicapped to have their say and show they can do stuff for themselves and they do have a voice. Taking away their voice and replaceing it with your own, you just make yourself look like you want to be noticed. "Look at me! I'm being defending and important! Behold me! I'm helping people! LOOK AT ME!" You may call yourselves crusaders, but lovers of freedom just think of you and your controlling, dictating ways as the Fourth Reich...

"You're not the same religion as me, so die"

I'm gonna cop a lot of flak for this, but organised religion has a lot to answer for. So much misery and violence comminted in the name of God. I have this idea that as long as what you do and say doesn't harm you or others, then it's okay. But no! Whether you have views like me, like Paganism, like Wicca, etc., you're EVIL! Yet, the same religions that call us evil condone acts of outright aggression and violence.

Let's set the record straight a little bit. Wicca is referred to by those in the know as "The Old Religion" because, quite simply, it's the oldest religion ever. Back when man was starting to scrat around in the dirt and find roots that could be eaten, homage was paid to the Earth for providing food. So when wicca is called evil, the Earth is being called evil, too.

Next, some people say they don't believe in Wicca. By the same token as the above example, these people are also saying they don't believe in Earth. okay, what the fuck do you think it is you're stood on, you idiot? Next you'll be saying this is The Matrix! Get out meet people before you completely lose it...unless you already have.

Then we get to the real nasty stuff. Different religions all around the world and their various offshoots and sects, all claiming that theirs is the one true religion. And what do they do to followers of religions that they don't agree with/ They murder them! Very holy, I'm sure...

It's scary that so many people are so engrossed, so blind to everything else including friends and family, so willing to believe in something that will fill a gap in their lives, that will gladly ignore, look down on, sometimes even kill, those who do not fit in with their regeme. You get these snobby idiots going to church on a sunday, dressed and bedecked in all their finery and for what? Just to show off how "good" they are by going to church. Yet these hypocrites will sit through yet another sermon about how everyone, including scientists looking for a cure for cancer, fire fighters, doctors, nurses, etc., is a sinner and when the sermon about how they should be sharing and loving of all human beings and they've nodded at the right times is over, they'll think nothing about recoilling in horror when a few minutes later a tramp will ask them for a few coins to grab a beer or a coffee or some food.

And the hypocrisy doesn't end there. We've pretty much lost count of the number of so called holy men who have been caught doing something grim with yet another choirboy. Yet the organisation will quietly shuffle the sicko somewhere else instead of doing the right thing and sacking the pervert and sending them to jail! "Suffer the little children" indeed...yet ANOTHER passage from the Bible that has again been reinterpretted to suit others' needs.

What is with this constant re-working, translating and reinterpretting of the Bible all about? Obviously this book can't be THAT Holy and Sacred if it's being changed all the time, altering a passage here to make it okay do this, rewriting a verse there to make it no longer a sin to do that. If it was that Holy, then it wouldn't be changed, instead it would be read and adhered to. If a religion does't like what you are, then you should find another religion that WILL accept you.

It used to be heresy to speak out about the injustices committed in the name of religion, yet murder, child molestation, rape, mass suicide, and other atrocities done all in the name of the various religions is swept under the carpet. And Wicca is called evil because it is about co-existing in harmony and Love with the world.

Does that mean that, to be accepted, Wicca should condone the shagging of alterboys and wars? And why should Wicca HAVE to make it'sself acceptible again, seeing as it's the oldest religion in the world?

Let me get this straight...worshipping a religion that has hidden under currents of sickness like men shagging their daughters, small children getting their heads cut open against their will, bombing little kids, and the like is acceptable, but paying thanks to the Earth for giving us life is evil...okaaaaay.

Before you bambard me with messages telling me I'm going to Hell, think on this. Worshipping the Earth has been around a little longer than other religions...about 8 to 12 thousand years longer. Things that were called evil yesterday are wholeheartedly embraced today, everything from make up to the computer (although there are still some who believe that make up is The Devil, so sane people, beware!). Two hundred, even one hundred years ago, it would have been heresy to let a homosexual be a priest, but like litmus paper, the Bible is going to be revised (in other words doctored and changed to suit other peoples' purposes AGAIN!) to allow this, yet as I said before, if someone said that they we gay and wanted to change the Bible so they could be a priest, too, say in the year 1789, that person would've been burned at the stake! The Devil has two possible origins that i know of. One is from the Greek god Pan, and his appearance and his desire for the cute Nymphs of yore were used as a blueprint for Satan. The second, more popular origin, is from Herne the Hunter, chosen mate of Mother Earth. Either way, religion needed a monster figure to use as a deterant to drive people away from a life of sin. Yes, Satan was created by todays religions using one of two good beings who are seen by normal people as not evil at all.

Plus, it was an Egyptian Pharoah who invented the worship of one god and did away with the rest. On his death, he was called a heretic and rest of the gods were brought back.

Look at the uproar caused my the release of the film "The last temptation of Jesus Christ". Ill-informed religious fanatics protesting and boycotting the film, calling it "Scandalous", "Blasphemous" and "Sacriligious". And by doing this these types proved that they can't think for themselves and can't help but shoot their mouths off without at least pretending they watched the film. Here's a brief review of the film...Christ is crucified, and as he is dying on the cross, The Devil comes to him and tells Jesus that if he sides with Devil, then he will be saved. Jesus thinks of what would happen if he renounced Jehova and teamed up with Lucifer, and all of this is shown in the film. Even though it seems okay, Jesus mulls over what could be, and tells the Devil basically to fuck off, that he still is going to die on the cross, and that the Devil will never be able to pervert the son of God. So, were the protestors trying to tell us that to deny evil and remain true to good is wrong? Very strange...

Other flaws include -

• Jesus dying to show that we have an eternal soul, and that as long as we try to be good to ourselves and each other, our souls will go to a good place when we die. Yet Bible thumpers in the street will think nothing of scaring small children by screaming that Jesus died because we are all evil and needed to be humiliated.
• Anger is wrong and evil, yet followers of certain religions think nothing of getting angry with their offspring and beating the crap out of them.
• To be loving and understanding of your fellow lifeforms, but this ignored in favour of hating, even destroying people.
• Yesterdays' evil is todays' acceptible to due to religious texts being under constant revision, thus telling us that not only are these Holy texts not that sacred, but also that todays vile criminals could be tomorrows' Holy men!

So this, coupled with wars where both sides see themselves as God's chosen, has kinda put those of us with freewill off of religion...organised religion, that is.

I'm not Wiccan, but am very keen to get into it as i feel it has a lot to offer. If it's evil to say "Thank you" to the Earth for the food She provides, to be nice to folks, to help those who can't help themselves whilst remaining anonymous as you do so, to celebrate in life and not be ashamed of our bodies, to live and love, if all this is evil, then I'd be proud to be called as such for the sake of following a religion based and love and thankfulness, rather than a religion based on fear, hatred, persecusion, and the warping of minds.

"Drugs AREN'T great"

Drugs...Jesus bungee-jumping cat-kicking dog-farting Christ. I'm so fucking bored with hearing from drug users how drugs are sooooo fucking fantastic and that the government should legalise them and how they help you cope and how awesome people who publicly condone the use of narcotics are and...

Cocaine...disintergrates your septum or teeth depending on how it's taken. Heroin...makes you look like The Incredible Cancer Victim. Ecstasy...makes some people overheat to death. Cannibis...makes you feel like you've suffered a major concussion. Speed...stops you eating and gaining valuable nutrients and can have the same effcts as Cocaine on your teeth or septum...

I knew a person who was close to orgasm when he found out a song he liked had an uncensored version that has lyrics about how great taking drugs is.

There was a tragedy a few years ago in England, that will be repeated over and over by others who don't give a shit, where a young lady who had everything going for her with great grades at school took Ecstacy and died. Her parents were devastated as any human would be and did a poster campaign warning people of the dangers of Ecstacy and not to let the same thing happen as did to their daughter. Then a music band did something pretty sick. They made a parody poster basically saying the dangers of this drug were greatly exaggerated and that Ecstacy is great. Nice. So not only did these people lose a daughter, some band comes along and not only shits on the girls' memory but also wipes their arse on the parents feelings, too.

Not only this, but some idiots called the parents allowing the use of their daughter's image as a warning to others as "Scaring folk with head-on-a-spike tactics." No, not really. More like stop taking drugs you limp wankers and try living for a change instead of using a chemical crutch!

I've seen people who've taken Ecstasy at nightclubs, and whilst I've been dancing near non-stop, these people who told me i should take it as it'll give me extra energy keep having to sit down and "Chill out" every 10 minutes....so it can't be that good! I've even had a couple of people come up to me and ask me what I'm on because I can dance for so long without a break. I tell them the truth, that I don't need drugs as I'm not weak and have health. And what the fuck is the point of taking a drug at a nightclub that prevents you from dancing as much as much as someone not on Ecstacy? Will some penis make a new version of Ecstacy that not only makes you have to sit down and chill out for half an hour after 10 minutes of dancing, but also makes you deaf so you can't hear the music you're dancing too?

It's a shame that people so young are so feeble and weak that they need drugs to get them and keep them going, and make them happy and "Loved up". Surely two good meals a day and a healthy breakfast, along with exercise, would be much better than buying something that'll fuck your body and/or mind up? And if you're incapable of feeling happy and in love, then a trip to the doctors will get you either a prescription anti-depressant, a referral to a psychiatrist, or both.

This bit will sound very heartless indeed, but in todays society, only those who've never come out of the caves don't know about drugs. We all know what drugs are what and what their effects are on the human body and mind, that being drugs trigger the reward responses of the brain without the user actually doing anything to gain reward, as well as the obvious harm being done to the users body. Therefore, if people know what a drug will do to them and still take it, let them. It's seperating the wheat from the chaff. The weak take drugs and die, leaving behind those strong in mind and body.

I've been approached once and offered heroin. I've been offered Ecstasy a few times. But I refused on the grounds that I'd much rather die of old age. Most say they'd rather die young, than grow old. But I'd rather die of old age because I've read up on how overdosers die, and even seen some pics on the internet, and believe me it ain't pretty. Most don't leave behind "A beautiful young corpse." but rather a unidentifiable, gooey mess in a puddle of it's own mixed up bodily fluids.

So if people want to take drugs, let them. Let's make space on this planet for those who don't wanna die horrifically. If you think taking drugs is great, fair enough. Just remember that not everyone is odd because they'd rather have a septum, teeth, health, and a body that works.

If life is that shit for you, a drug ain't gonna do anything, except send you on your way just that little bit quicker...

"What the hell is Nu-Metal meant to be? Pop for rockers? Rock for teeny boppers? Elevator muzak for headbangers?"

A line from a song says something about people having a go about what punk is, but having nothing to say when confronted...

Then please allow me to tell you. Punk isn't waving your hands around like you're a gangsta rapper (No offense to gangsta rappers. I'm sure you'd love a pop at these silly little kids who take the piss out of your hand gestures). Punk isn't whining about how unfair it is being middle class and having everything bought for you. Punk isn't about teenage problems like "Why don't my parents understand me?" And it certainly ain't about limp lyrics with your main instrument in your heaviest punk riff being a piano!. Punk is about sticking your fingers up at the establishment and shouting "Bollocks!" Punk is about society and standing up against the contrived mainstream shit they'd rather have you listen to, to stand up and tell the world that if it don't care, then it shouldn't equally care about what is said to it for not giving a toss!

To make matters worse, not only do these kids have the nerve to call themselves punks, goths, metlers, etc., but they also call the decent bands OLD SCHOOL! This is implying that those who consider themselves to be Nu-Metal have learnt something from the likes of Black Sabbath, Megadeth, The Exploited, Slayer, etc.

In the old days, alternative meant alternative, it didn't mean you carried on playing pop crap but you wore punk clothes instead. Supposed alternative music video channels seemed okay to begin with, but then they started playing anything with an electric guitar in! I'll probably regret saying this because someone will actually think it's a good idea, but we'll probably see the video for "Steam" by East 17 just because it's got an electric guitar sample in it being played on a rock video channel...

What happened? Before, you had a tune, a heavy set of guitar riffs and some powerful lyrics. Now all you need is the reputation (and the money) of your already-famous parents to get your videos played. Even bands that show promise with their first single seem to turn all wishy-washy with their follow-up singles. Every now and then you get a band that comes along with some cracking tunes, like Static-X and Disturbed, that have put effort into it. But most bands today that call themselves "alternative" are just boy-bands with guitars. Mainstream pop with the sound of a Strat in the background.

And what is with the commentary in between the videos on these channels? The stuff they come out with is ridiculous! Saying that bands that sound all floaty and pop are"Todays Pantera..."! One VJ even had the cheek to say that Nirvana inspired Killing Joke. Seeing as Killing Joke were around about a decade before Nirvana popped up, I think that was a ill-informed thing to say, apart from which I think a lot of people are getting fed up with hearing about Nirvana...I'm sure everyone has now cottened on to the fact that bands who have had prominent members die are considered Legends, so Nirvana isn't anything new. It's seems that bands like Faith No More, The Pixies, Stormtroopers of Death, The Sisters of Mercy, Sonic youth, The Ramones are doomed to be near-libelously labelled the inspirers of todays alternative rock, and today it's anything but rock...

Ahh, The Pixies. When a scream was scream, an outburst of emotion. Now, a scream is the outburst of a silly litte kid with an electric guitar having a tantrum. One all-girl band has scream in one of their songs I heard and it was all the more laughable with the girl doing the screaming looking like a spoilt brat! Come back L-7...where ARE you when we need you, and why did you forsake us?

Sid Vicious may not have had a clue how to properly play the bass, and some say that Johnny Rotten may have had a bad singing voice to start with, but they will ALWAYS be more alternative, more PUNK, than most of todays so-called alternates!

"Pop-ups! Arghhhh! And what's with all these banners????"

Pop-ups, those darling little mini web pages that literally pop up from out of no-where. There you are, typing away on an on-line forum, or checking the code on your own website and typing in new code on notepad, and after 15 minutes of typing you look up to find that the last 13 minutes worth of typing are not there because a pop-up has appeared...

And banners? How many times have you seen a banner on a so-called respectable site on an entirely inappropriate topic?

I don't know what invented pop-ups, but if they think they were being clever or funny by inventing them, well they are greatly mistaken. This also goes those who use them deliberatly.

At this point I'd like to apologise. Because I'm placing this site on a free server, there may be po-ups. If there are, please don't blame me. However, my server do provide me with a place i can swear as much as I want so it's all good!

Some sad twats may say that it serves you right for looking at porn, but pop-ups don't just belong to the realm of on-line nudie sites. Found a site full of funny pictures, but gave up looking at the pics of kittens with machine guns and other funny stuff due to a pop-up constantly appearing and slowing down browsing time. And another site I was looking at to purchase hardware for our pc brought up a pop-up for a famous on-line buy-new-and-used-goods store...a pop-up that hid the task bar at the bottom of the screen.

And of course, those wonderful pop-ups that, when closed, open up 15 more pop-ups to take their place! What a fucking retard idea that was to make pop-ups do that!

So instead of pop-ups, why not do what some sites do and give the OPTION of looking. Like a button that says "Visit our sponsors here!" at the bottom of the screen?

Some pop-ups are even more intrusive, going to the point of denying the user access to his/her own pc! Pop-ups that insist you want to download a program from them, and on the first and second attempt at shutting the pop-up down, it brings up a message telling you "You must click "Yes" to recieve our great program!"

Banners aren't as bad as pop-ups, but one I've seen consists of a picture flashing alterantly between red and blue, and probably at the right frequency to induce an epileptic fit, so banner designers, design your banners with care.

So if you have ever had to deal with pop-ups and the endless barrage of shite they offer yet you don't want and seen some awful banners, you're not alone. And if you are the creator of pop-ups, you're a wanker.

"This is a shared house, which means YOU do all the work!"

Believe me, if you're thinking of sharing a house with friends and you divide the rent between you, DON'T! Unless of course you a) Don't mind losing your self-respect, or b) Are the domaneering type looking for a victim on which to exert your dominating personality.

If it's a house where you each have a seperate room with it's own sink, and the rent is not divided up and rather the landlord/lady charges rent per room, then you should be okay.

But if it's a house with a set rent and a few friends are going to share the rent between them, forget it.

You always get one person who tries to take charge of everything that goes on in the house, including your life. I did a whole rant about what went on in one house, but I'd rather not place it here as was a very shitty experience, and chances are you'd never believe what went on! One example was that not only was I accused of wanking over porn on on someone elses pc, they told all my friends.

Sharing a house is NOT about being the boss, it's about co-existing with your fellow housemates. That means if someone does something that pisses you off, tell them. It means that you don't play loud music and make loads of fucking racket, taking into consideration things about your housemates things like insomnia, night-shift work, etc. It means that you clean up after you use the bathroom, kitchen, etc., and NOT blasting others for not cleaning up their own mess as well as your own. It's about not telling everyone you meet what your housemates get up to and thus respecting their privacy.

Take my advice. Someone asks you if you want to share a house with them, tell them politely that you'd rather catch crabs. It's real shitty when you have a nice nature and people use it and trample all over it, especially when they know you're too nice to fight back.

And if you're the type who like to boss other people around...hope you get crabs!

"People are complaining about damging teeth on nuts in soft foods, and the number of people allergic to nuts is increasing, so Quick! Add nuts too EVERYTHING!"

Peanut allergy is a nasty one as it causes anaphylactic shock, an extreme allergic reaction which, if not treated on the spot with a hypo of adrenaline, can kill.

"That's easy!" I hear you say, "Just don't eat peanuts, then!" But it's not as simple as that. It's bad enough that a peanut can kill, but some evil doers are doing their bit to make life just that little more difficult.

For example, peanut butter is added to various food stuffs that aren't properly labelled. Plus, some resuarants add peanut butter foods without saying so on the menu.

i don't have prolems with peanuts, but even I get pissed off with everthing containing nuts. There are probably types of sausages, gravies, jellies and preserves with nuts in! Why not put chocolate chips in everything, instead? They're soft, and no-one to my knowledge is fatally allergic to them? But then, folks would insist on the choc chips being made from peanuts.

To take the piss even more, they put warnings on foodstuffs that don't need warnings...like on the packets of dry roasted peanuts.

What's next? "Mountain Fresh Ice bottled spring water...warning: this product may contain traces of nut"????

Sorry if this seems like a pointless rant to you, but I'd love to know why, with people suffering from peanut allergies, where there is a morbid obsession with adding peanuts and peanut butter to everything...

"????? number 1"

Sometimes a subject comes up that just defies description. A topic that makes you dispair for the Human race. A subject makes you think that if anything like an alien invasion or the Apocalyse DID happen, we'd wouldn't know what to do because we're so mentally weak and helpless...or worse.

Here's the first such topic...and I'm guessing it won't be the last...

"As recieved in an email

Stella Awards

Origin of the Stella Awards:

In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on herself. This case inspired an annual award - The "Stella" Award -for the most frivolous lawsuit in the U.S. The ones listed below are clear candidates.All these cases are verging on the outright ridiculous and yet (in the good old USA) with the right attorney you could win anything! (see OJ trial.

1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little rodent was Ms. Robertson's son.

2. June 1998: 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

3. October 1998: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up, because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. Mr. Dickson sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused hi! m undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.

4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard, as was Mr. Williams. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog may have been provoked by Mr.Williams who, at the time, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5. May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on soft drinkn and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor ! and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

7. And just so you know that cooler heads do occasionally prevail: Kenmore Inc., the makers of Dorothy Johnson's microwave, were found not liable for the death of Mrs. Johnson's poodle after she gave it a bath and attempted to dry it by putting the poor creature in her microwave for, " just a few minutes, on low," The case was quickly dismissed.

By the way these are true stories "

There you go...discuss.

"Porn is Evil! Porn is sick! But please tell me where I can find someone to sandpaper my nipples and arse..."

Ah, porn. Pornography has many genres. But all of them, without exception, by the Morality Squad to EVIL! Yep, with crimes like break and enter, murder, drug pushing, and unprovoked violence, porn is seen as the greatest evil ever.

But why? Forget the whole arguement about it degrading women. If it's so degrading, then in these days of ladies'empowerment, then there'd be no porn. Sorry to say this, but the majority of ladies who protest against porn seem to look a bit...mannish. This arguement is about those who say that all porn is sick, and the nasty little fetishes that turn THEM on.

For example, I heard of one guy whos' girlfriend threatened to dump him because he asked if she'd ever consider dressing up for him in a police uniform. It ended up with him dumping her because he found out that while she was crusading against "sick and evil" porn like soft porn magazines, he found out she had a secret fantasy that was desperate to act out involving fisting and scat. Not dumped so much for request, but mostly because of her hypocrisy and about how her fetish made his seem very tame. And there's been stories of moral crusaders who said publicly that porn is evil and were found in situations that damaged their careers...one ended fatally due to being found dead, whilst bound, gagged and in drag.

Call it obscene. But it's just like television...if you don't like it, don't look. It's like someone sat to close to an open log fire and complaining about being too hot. Either don't do it or stop complaining. They say that pictures of beautiful people, not engaging in sexual acts but just posing for the camera, at most showing their boobs, is disgusting. Well if that's the case, how come these people don't castise themselves for being naked when they go for a bath?

It's so fucked up. People being called paedophile because they like women, not kids, but WOMEN as in adult female (sorry, but some folks seem to have trouble understanding this. No matter how many times it's explained that it's a woman dressed up, psychologist-wannabees still say your a freak for liking a woman (ADULT FEMALE)) dressed in school uniform. Surely a woman dressed makes for dress-up. But no, if that's your bag, then you're a pervert. Same goes for liking someone dressed in latex or pvc.

According to some idiotic dog-fuckers, it doesn't matter that the person wearing the school uniform is a grown adult. If you're into that, you're a paedophile.

Then you find out the person calling you a pervert is into shagging animals whilst eating poo.

I do not condone illegal sexual acts, and think people into real nasty shit like kids and snuff should be locked away for ever. I just think that it's a shame that not only do people get persecuted for having a fetish (e.g. WOMEN in school uniforms, French maid uniforms, mild spanking, tied to the bed whilst your partner teases you, corsets, Dominatrixes, etc.) that seems a racey to some and mainstream, even a little tame to others, by people who are mostly likely harbouring some weird sadist fetish involving torture or some such.

All I'm saying that in the great scheme of things, someone dressed up as a nun whilst doing the Wild Mambo is a bit of an easy victim, compared to targetting real deviants like terrorists. If you want to crusade, why not persecute some who deserves it like a terrorist or a dictator or other criminal. It's sad when someone wants to get into the spotlight and be famous by calling porn actresses and actors, and people with harmless fetishes "evil" As far as I know, someone posing in a naughty magazine showing off their naked body is not evil. Rape, murder, child beating are evil, so it seems a bit warped to put naked babes in the same catagory.

"You think we go into these jobs because we care? You fool! We're in it for the money..."

Vets and dentists. Not much to say except I don't think they give a crap about their patients, just money.

For example, I walked into my old dentists to find out what time my appointment for the following day was as I'd forgotten. Not only was I told that my appoinment was for the day I'd walked in and thus had missed it by an hour, I was being charged for causing them incovenience. I tried to explain that I'd moved recently but that I still wished to remain loyal to their practice (plus not wanting to got to another dentist as I didn't want even more x-rays!), that I'd been told the wrong day over the phone, and that I'd travelled by train to get there, but they weren't interested. They weren't interested that a filling had come out, a filling that had been loosened by them on a previous visit. They weren't interested that I was in a lot of pain because of the filling coming out. All they were interested in was me paying them for wasting their time. The clincher was when I told the reception I was in agony, and they said, with other people there witnessing all this "I don't care, and I'm not going to argue with you."

I'd travelled all that way, in pain, and was told the wrong day.

My conclusion? It's a money-making racket. You make an appointment over the phone, and because it's over the phone and you don't request an appontment card, so you have no proof. So for fucks' sake, go into the practice with at least one witness and ask for a computer printed appointment confirmation. Otherwise they can make up whatever they like to get out of treating you, and also make extra cash by fining you.

And vets? Bah! They got no problems killing of animals on the flimsiest of pretexts because it the humane thing to do. Yet a human being with with a brain tumour that has got so bad it's made that person blind and they in constant horrific agony has to die in pain and suffering...not very humane, that. Why is vet college so long in terms of earning duration if all you get taught is "If doesn't involve telling someone who to administer worming tablets, how to groom, or how and what to feed their pet, put it down."

Back to topic list

"You can't be a real Goth because you're not wearing make-up...and I'm a vampire..."

Oh dear...this is soooo tragic! Let me give you a very real example of what this little rant is about. I'm stood at a bar waiting for some friends to turn up before we all go to a goth nightclub, when i notice this goth girl looking daggers at me. I politely ask if there is anything wrong and she responds with "You're dressed okay, but you're not a real goth...you're not wearing make-up."

As you can imagine, this sounded so stupid I had to give her a wake up call, by saying "Oh. You mean like Andrew Eldritch and Pete Murphy?" At this she stormed off.

And those that say they are vampires...sheesh! Yeah, well done, advertise the fact you're an undead blod-drinker to the world! Fortunatly for them, government organizatios don't capture them to examine them...or maybe they do but we just don't hear about it. Either way, they make the rest of the goths looks stupid. Not all goths think they are vampires, just the insane ones.

Here's some "I'm a vampire goth" facts!

• Vampire goths are seen walking in the daylight.
• Vampire goths claim to be vampires, yet are vegetarian in diet.
• Most vampire goths say that are Pagan or Wiccan, which is bizarre cnsidering Wicca is about life, growth, regrowth, birth and nature, whereas vampires rpresent stagnancy, decay and death.
• Vampire goths lack the traits that vamps are meant to have e.g. great night vision, increased agility and superhuman strength.

And the real crucifix-in-the-face for the rest of us is that we get associated with the vamp wannabees!

I like vampire films, but I'm not a vamp. If anything, I'd love to be a werewolf, but I can't because of reality, family responsibilities, etc., but being a werewolf would be much more in line with the Wicca way, surely? If a vamp represents death and decay, then a werewolf represents Mother Natures' anger! Werewolve are mortal, the only kill for food or to protect themselves and their pack, they are in tune with nature...

And there's a point, too! I don't go round saying that I'm a werewolf because I've got grip on reality....and strained rip, but a grip nonetheless! :o)

So if you're a trendy, please don't think that ALL goths think they are vampires...but you probably will because you're trendy and can't help but follow the herd. And if you're a vampire goth...tut tut! You call yourselves vampires and look down your noses at us "Mortals", yet all you do is make true goths look silly by association...

"I have a small penis, no friends, and access to the internet...I know! I'll make virus!"

The computer. A wonder of the modern world. At first it looked like it would revolutionize gameplay, now it looks like it's taken over the way we communicate. No more expensive overseas phone calls, now that email and video mail have taken over. Whatever you use a computer for, be it gaming, communicating or working, the computer is here to stay. There's just one problem...

The Virus.

A relatively small program, in comparison with other programs your computer may use, the virus' sole function is to fuck your, and your computers day up.

Not content with having sex with their neighbours' dog, kicking kittens onto a motorway and dissecting living wildlife, some twat woke up one day and thought what a great idea it would be to make program that, once loaded into a computer, it would ruin someone elses day!

There are so many diferent virus that it's best if you look for a list on another site, some peoples jobs are to catalogue and counter these new programs of mass destruction. But why make a virus? Why not reach puberty and have sex? Why not have a life?

There was one guy I heard of who sent a really nasty system killing virus out to some people just because they are gay and were using a gay chat site. Another did something similar to people who did not agree with him that guns are great fun.

The virus maker, like the rapist, serve no other purpose than to be evil, crap, pointless and worthy of being bungeed into a volcano using their scrotum as the bungee cord.

Virus creators...a virus in their own right. And I believe that, like A.I.D.S., one day we will find a way of destroying them once and for all.

"No thanks...I don't eat the rotting flesh of murdered animals..."

Vegetarianism. To be a vegetarian in not just about grazing on vegetation and avoiding meat, it's also about trying to gross out those of us who eat meat.

There you are, about to sink your canines into a suculent double burger or a steak or a tasty piece of cod or even a delicious tikka chicken sandwich, a nd some weirdo pipes up with a comment about how you shouldn't eat meat, and they ALWAYS word it in the grossest possible way. Why do they do it? What pleasure do the get out of spouting vile graphic phrases?

I remember eating a plate of tuna pasta, and some vegetablist started moaning saying "Do you have to leave that plate there with all that dead flesh drying and curling up near me?" What a gross thing to say to someone after they have just eaten!

I mean, I could reel off some facts I heard, like how grazers don't live as long as those who eat meat, how meat contains enzymes, protiens, or whatever it was I heard that are not found in vegetation, etc., but I don't. I don't because it's REAL bad fucking manners to put people of eating. If you have to do this, then you can stick vegetarianism up your bracken-spouting arses.

It's all about choice. And if grazers can't respect the fact that some of us have evolved and risen up the food chain leaving herbivore sheep behind, then maybe they should go away some place where they won't gross folks out who are trying to eat. I don't go round saying stuff like how can someone eat something grown in shit and decomposing corpses, so why should veggies get away with the sick shit they say to meat eaters?

Like television, if you don't like what you're seeing then move away, instead of staring at it. If you stare then you must not be that bothered, plus VERY fucking rude for staring at someone whilst they're eating.

So if you see someone eating meat, don't be an ill-mannered shit and start spouting gross comments about dead flesh and rotting animal remains...chances are the vegetables you revere so much and are eating were grown in soil that was once a burial site.

"Two worst hairstyles, and one is the ponytail..."

Two British celebrities (I'm British, too. So if you think I'm slating the British, shut up. And if you have a problem with the British, shut up) both made comments about how shit it is for men with long hair to to tie it up out of the way in a pony tail.

One of them obviously said it ot of jealousy due to having not enough hair to make a moustache, let along have a pony tail.

The other said the pony tail is as bad as a mullet. Don't ever assoiate my hair with that of a red neck! I bet you hate women who have bright red hair (dyed or otherwise), too, you twat!

I'd like to say there are two hairstyles worse than the pony tail...the "bald on top but desperatly hanging on whats left on the back and sides", and the "Floppy, shite, I've-been-to-public-school-and-been-buggered-daily-and-loved-it" styles.

If I've offended anyone, sorry. I'm just trying to make a point...

"I first pierced my genitals when I realised I'd lost the plot...banana."

Yep, believe it or not, some folks love to destroy their genitals by actually piercing them. Nothing against piercing in general(although getting your tongue pierced or whatever is like advertising the fact that you're utter shite at oral sex), if someone hates their penis THAT much, or wishes they didn't have a vagina, why don't they just chop it off or stitch it up, respectivly?

It's been said that making love with a woman whose got multiple genital piercings is like doing it with a cheese grater. And that men who've decided to mutilate their knobs can't wear condoms anymore due to the piercings ripping the rubber, which ain't that clever what with A.I.D.S. to think of.

Some just like to devestate their bits because they get off on the pain...we'll steer clear of them.

What's with getting your bollocks pierced? Why on Earth would anyone in their right fucking mind want to to pierce their sack?

Genital piercing suggests lazyness, a quick fix. Where someone who actually CARES about their sexual partner would try and put at least some effort into it by improving their technique, maybe even asking their partner what THEY like!

Why don't I have my cock pierced? Because I'm not shite in bed, have great technique, and I don't want to mess with something that ain't broken...I mean, why piss about with genetic perfection?

Thank you, and happy shagging!

"Gimme your dinner money..."

School bullies...like cancer in a human body, the eat away at the school they stink in causing it to decay,

School bullies are nothing but a waste of valuable resources and oxygen, yet they get all the help they need because they "Obviously come from a troubled home". But what about their victims? I'll tell what about the victims....they get nothing but even more grief from the bullies.

I was bullied EVERYDAY of my school life. And not one teacher would do anything. I retaliated twice, and each time I was the one who got punished even though I tried to explain that the reason i gave them a bloody nose is because they broke my nose or finger. You'd think they would've seen it coming what with all the pain I'd endured, but no. All I got told was that I shouldn't hit back and tell a teacher. Why? just to get told yet again to stop telling tales? Fuck, i hate that saying with a vengeance!

It's a known fact that school bullies bully because they are forced to eat scat at home and use the violence they feel on kids they think will make an excellent victim. don't like my theory? Well, kick bullies outta school so the normal kids can study in a fucktard-free enveronment.

Some liberal wankers say that bullies shouldn't be kicked out of school for kicking, punching, mugging, raping and/or stealing from weaker kids because they will lose out on an education. Well, tough shit. The time they spend beating kids up, the only education they seem to get is how to get away with violence. School is for studying, not for getting beaten up or to beat up. So if bullies want to make life difficult, kick 'em out.

Also, I've heard that some wankers say why not move the victim to another school? Well, why the fuck should the victim have to move when it's the bully who obviously doesn't give a shit whether or not they learn to spell and read and should be moved? Don't the people who came up with that cruddy idea think that the victim may have gone through enough to punished further by being moved to another school?

If you want to think in extreme terms, bullies are terrorists. They disrupt the education of others by filling their victims with fear and dread, impeding the learning of others and thus ruining lives

It's the lack of interest in the victims and the hell they go through, that causes some parents to go to extreme measures to protect their children. Even the victims take extreme measures. So many lives get ruined...one bully can ruin the life of a whole family, due to that family being distressed to their childs' plight, so parents' work suffers because they are worrying...and so on.

Still, as long as teachers and social workers are willing to go to any lengths to protect the bullies, and even punish the victim when said victim has had enough and decides to fight back (if violence solves nothing, why not preach that to the bully?), there's not much that can be done.

School bullies...a cancer of society.

"A runtime error has occured. Do you wish to debug?"

No...now fuck off

"Death to Father Christmas!"

This was outrageous! Some weirdos going round, even starting lobby and preasure groups, with one goal...to ban good ol' Santa!

Apart from having WAY too much time on their hands, these freaks are very worrying. I mean even as adults we like a little magic around Christmas if only for the kids' sake, but to ban Santa and go round telling little kids that Father Christmas doesn't exist is cruel, heartless, and very Ebeneezer Scrooge!

Still, if it weren't for the People Imposing the Slaying of Santa (P.I.S.S.), then we'd be without another group of very odd types to laugh at. Outlawing Santa...what a pathetic ideal to aspire to...

"Destroy all wildlife!"

In England, some call it sport to get a posse of horse riders and a shit load of crazed dogs to hunt...a fox. The American term "Overkill" comes to mind. It's like using a nuke to pop a zit...way over the top.

And you should see some of the people who think that fox hunting is great! VERY scary. Some of them look close to orgasm at the mere mention of going on a "hunt". I thought to hunt meant to seek out prey to kill, cook then eat. But it's not a hunt when you're going after a fox...it's more about orgiastic blood-letting and frenzied death.

Some say that foxes cause damage by eating hens belonging to farmers. Well, build better chicken runs ie, building them so the chicken wire goes under ground so foxes are unable to burrow underneath. Some say that farmers can't afford to do so. Then they shouldn't keep chickens. If someone put a million quid in a dark corner of a park with a single line of barbed wire near it and the money got stolen, the police will tell you it's your own fault it stolen. So why should farmers get away with saying that chickens are prized possessions then putting them in flimsy cages? It's called protecting your assets, folks.

Some say that fox-hunting is a way of country life and that if fox hunting is banned, we lose a bit of our heritage. A word to the World...not all of us here in England are blood-thirsty psychos. As for losing our heritage, well if getting off on seeing a small animal getting ripped apart is heritage, then I would not be sorry to lose it.

But you can't reason with fox hunters. That maniacal glint in their eyes tells you that they are beyond reason, beyond humanity, beyond having any feeling.

There's even a website dedicated to promoting fox hunting. I'm not going to post the link here, but if you want, just use google to find it. If you're into fox hunting, I'm sure you'll find a lot of stuff to wank off over, there.

I may not be vegetarian, but I eat meat to live. I don't obliterate wildlife.

This subject is quite worrying, as the pro-hunt people are very scary. It's like Kyle Reese trying to describe the terminator to Sarah Conner...No feelings, no remorse, cannot be reasoned or bargained with, and absolutely will not stop until the foxes are dead. And what happens when foxes have been made extinct? Who's next on the list?

Worry.

"Must...watch...the beautful game...forget my...girlfriend. Beautiful...game...oh God! I'm...close!"

A few years ago I was on a date with an ex-girlfriend of mine and walking through the centre of town we passed this bar with complete window front. To one side of the entrance a large TV was on for people outside to watch. And on this TV was a football match with a load of men watching it. As we got nearer this rather attractive lady came out and asked one of the men, her boyfriend, I assume, to come back in and spend some time with her. He told her that he'd be in after the football was over without even looking at her. My ex asked me if I liked football that much. I told her that any man willing to watch 22 men run around getting all hot and sweaty for an hour and a half rather than spend it with a beautiful lady is most likely hiding something.

I went to a friends house to find everyone glued to the telly watching a football match. I tried making conversation, but attention was firmly on the match. I finally made my excuses and left, to which I got called queer for not watching the rest of it with them. Which is kinda ironic seeing as the reason I left was because one guy was sporting a rather prominent bulge in the crotch of his trousers with a look of ecstasy on his face because he was watching "The Beautiful Game."

A couple of my female friends told me they used to have boyfriends who got sexually excited due to watching football...yet found the woman in their life dressed in lacy lingerie not that great.

And it's been heard that some women actually get beat up by their boyfriends/husbands for interrupting them whilst they were drinking booze watching "The Beautiful Game"

Makes you wonder what they REALLY react like when they get chatted up by a female...

I'm not saying ALL football fans are like this, but to be on the safe side, I'd suggest to ladies out their not to go out with a football fan...as you will take second place to "The Beautiful Game".

Me? My Foxy Lady snuggled up with me anytime!

"Mmm, smoking! Here's some of my money, please give me cancer!"

Before any of you think to yourselves I'm gonna preach and I know fuck all, I'm not and I do. I used to smoke. I started at 14 and to be perfectly honest with you, I don't know why. But I can tell you one thing, my mum was right when she said the best way to give up is never to start.

if you have never read The Whistle Blower, or the film is was based on called The Insider, I suggest you do. The following links are about smoking and about how the manufacturers and their advertisers think smokers are a bunch of inbred, moronic cunts.

Advertising aimed at teenagers

Attracting people to smoke by making it look cool and packets pretty

There are loads of these sites, but the one I REALLY wanted to share with you, I can't find. But what it entailed was this. Advertising companies were forced by the government to make available it's stratagies and thoughts about smoking and making money. To cut a long story short, smokers are seen as backward, having little in the way of IQ, and that teenagers MUST be targeted in ad campaigns as "When the older smokers die off, the youth will be our next customers." It's pretty damning stuff.

I'm really fucked off with myself for having started smoking. I was ACTUALLY paying some cunt my own fucking money to buy something that shortened my lifspan, and if I didn't have the money then I'd ponce fags off of friends and vice versa.

But one type of smoker I CAN'T stand are pregnant women. If they don't want the foetus they're carrying, why don't they just have an abortion, instead of giving birth to a poor little kid who's gonna have asthma for the rest of his/her life? I suppose in that respect the ad companies are right in saying that these smokers are backward, because you'd either have be callous or thick as pig shit to carry on smoking after finding out your pregnant. Stiil, if they wanna be cuntish there's not much you can do except hope they find the heart to quit before they fuck up their child before it's even born. I know one family who used to invite friends round and all of them apart from 2 would start smoking like it was a cigarette party, and they did this with a newborn infant (with asthma, surprise surprise) in the room. Then the stupid fools wondered why the poor little squib died from Cot Death. If you're pregnant or you have kids yet you don't want to quit, at least don't smoke near them. Unless of course you hate your kids, then carry on.

Sorry to get on my high horse about that. If you don't smoke, then NEVER start. I did, and then realised I was paying my money to die quicker and make some bastard rich from my tumours. Bet you'd never catch a cigarette company owner smoking.

ADDITIONAL

I found the magazine with the advertising article in it! Whoo! To read it, click here.

"You should be awake, anyway!"

Know anyone with insomnia? If you do, be sympathetic to them. You see, I have insomnia and it's no barrel of laughs when try to get to sleep to no avail, then when you finally do about 6 am and some inconderate shit stain makes matters even worse by telling you "You should be awake anyway!"

I'd love to know why it's illegal to have sleeping disorders? I'd love to know why idiots make shitty comments about insomnia. As the comedian David Baddiel said about idiots who take great pleasure in saying that that have no trouble sleeping when you tell them you have insomnia "You don't to someone who tells you they're blind 'Oh, really? Because I can see perfectly!'"

I've heard shitheads become really angry and aggressive when they hear that someone woke up in the afternoon. Why is it such a big problem? You have to admit that there is a complete lack of understanding and sympathy for insomnia and those who suffer with it.

But it's when people say "You should be awake anyway!" that really fucks me off. It's sounds so dictating! Who the hell has the right to decide what time we have to be awake? Who on Earth made it so those of us with sleeping disorders have to be persecuted? These inbred shite hawks are so poorly educated they probably have never heard of insomnia which may explain their complete lack of knowledge of it. Or maybe an even simpler explanation is that they enjoy being a bastard by saying the shit they say because it taunts those with insomnia. They're saying that not only do they have a good night's sleep, but anyone who hasn't will be kept awake.

Insomnia, an illness that is made worse by the intolerance of idiots.

"How dare fly the flag of your country. And in your OWN country, as well!"

Not sure if anyone outside the UK will have heard about this, but apparently it's racist to wave the flags of the UK and England. Especially in England.

Apparently, England has no right whatsoever to be proud. Only the evil that has been done is allowed to known and made into film. Films made by xenophobes about England are acceptible, whereas film like The Battle Of Britain are not good.

We've been told that by flying the flag of England, we're making those of foriegn descent and/or foriegn visitors to England feel uncomfortable. Oh really? We tried dictating that before...in the Crusades. But we've learned from our mistakes, be they small or huge and evil.

Other countries are allowed to fly their flags with no problem whatsoever, yet we fly our own flag in our own country and we get called racist!

Imagine what would happen today if England told another country not to fly their flag? There'd be a fucking uproar!

Yes, England has done some atrocious things in the past, yet unlike other countries we are never allowed to be forgiven and definately not allowed to forget. This is racism.

As for those who say that England has nothing to be proud of, I hope the ghosts of those Brits who died in the Second World war, those who died fighting against the might of the Nazis to give us the future generations freedom, rise up and haunt you forever!

By saying that we have nothing to be proud of is to shit on the memory of those who fought in WWII, and to deny us flying our own flag in our own country is one of the worst acts of racism I've ever heard of.

Every country has a right to be proud, and every country has the right to fly it's flag. If you don't like that, then fuck off, you racist turd.